I was sitting next to my ex-wife in Kenya, rolling past 2 Dead Bodies on our 1st bus journey. Sometimes you just think… “What the actual F**K am I doing!”
I came across pictures from the sexual health project I was running in Kenya with Sante Yogas Danielle at the start of the year. Dani will agree with me in saying it was a very tough 3 weeks spent there. We were in a forgotten little town called Homa Bay, sitting on the banks of lake Victoria. It was a totally different experience to 3 years prior, when I was there with the military. It was safari, beer and soldiers. This time, ex-wife, HIV & malaria. Quite a combination I know…
Feeling your own Mortality
On our first bus journey we came across a huge accident, that had literally just happened minutes earlier. The bus rolled past at 3 mph right next to two disfigured bodies lying in the road. People were screaming, smoke & debris everywhere! It was one of those moments where you don’t want to look, but you do. I feel it’s important to see these things to sense your own mortality. It was such a weird experience that made me feel a sudden connection to the person sitting to the left and right of me, even though I didn’t know one of them. I felt deep sadness, but also the most alive I have ever felt!
Homa Bay has one of the highest rates of HIV and Aids in the country if not the world! We were living in a house the size of a bedroom, with a family of 5 (7 people in total) cooking on one gas stove every night.
Walk the Walk
We refused to take the rich persons ride on the back of a motorbike taxi, walking 10 miles a day, between 3 schools, teaching the children about Malaria, aids and HIV. Seeing the ugly side of charity work helped me to gain a deeper understanding of where charity money goes and how many people are trying to set up charity organisations for personal gain! It just felt like everyone was trying to survive there. There is so much more to the charity side, it’s beautiful & ugly all at the same time!
The kids from our house would walk down to the muddy river everyday to gather water, that they knew could ultimately make them ill. There wasn’t any other option for them. I suppose you only know what you know. And that’s all they knew, so it was normal and didn’t bother them. Illness and death is a lot more common and accepted over there.
A Living Saint
We met an old woman who was famous for delivering babies in her little shack for 50 years. She wasn’t using any protective gear, which when you consider the rate of HIV and Aids, was incredibly brave. She worked purley from intuition and a gift that she said was given from god, to deliver the babies. She worked closely alongside the local hospital as she could sense when something wasn’t right and when they needed urgent attention. Even in the dire conditions she was working in, she had never lost a women during childbirth! Which is just insane!
Razor to a Child?
We saw her take a razor blade put couple of gashes into a babies forehead and rub mud into it. For medicinal reasons and the locals sweared by her root brew she had in her cooking pot. It was such a raw experience!
Dani set up the whole project and I helped deliver it, so most of the credit goes to her. She was intending going by herself, but I’m glad I went along as there were a couple of times drunk guys got a little too close and I had to push them away. I’m not trying to paint Kenya in a bad light here, it’s the same the world over, there good and bad people.
Working through the Past
The biggest learning experience was closer to home. I was travelling with my ex-wife, we were together for 9 years and a lot of people think you should leave past relationships well alone, but I/we knew there was growth to be found in this experience.
We had seen each other twice briefly in 4 years before we decided to set off on this journey. Sometimes you just have to jump in with both feet and see what happens. When you’re in such a stressful environment with a person you have so much history with. It brings all your insecurities to the surface, as you reflect your demons back on each other.
Some people think when you split with a partner that you should steer well away from them for the rest of your life and in some cases… yes!
However, ask yourself these questions…
- By blocking them out are you stunting your own self growth?
- Are holding something against them, which is stopping you from accepting a part of yourself?
Maybe these are questions you have never asked yourself? And you know what, maybe you aren’t ready to ask them…
If I can just point out as well, not many people are like Dani, very self aware, open, kind and beautiful inside and out. Our connection is deep, not in a romantic way, but in a way that we value the lessons being together have taught us and helped us on our own individual journeys.
Moral of the story is that there is a lesson in every experience you encounter. Look past the surface of an event, move internally, reflect then move forward with what you have learnt. Not only enhance your life, but more importantly….other peoples!
If you enjoyed this post then try – ‘Kids with Guns’
If you want a step by step process sheet and loads more transformative practices for both body & mind then subscribe to the ‘SOULVISION’ human growth platform.
