7 Years ago I had my whole life set out or so I thought… Wife, dog, stable successful career in the Army, a house in the UK and France. Then a little like the fresh prince ‘my life got flipped turned upside down’. My wife left me and the life that I knew changed dramatically…
It’s a very strange feeling, slight waves of panic and excitement at the same time. Your ego is feeling rejected and the unknown is daunting. As humans our tendency is to crave being in control but really the more you can embrace the unknown the more you become at peace and realise anything can happen. And when I mean anything can happen, I mean positive things! But that’s the decision you have to make…to be fearful of the unknown or to embrace it. It’s hard right?
The universe gives you exactly what you need at the right time to guide you towards personal growth, you can sit there and see yourself as a victim or you can just see it as part of your journey to becoming a better version of yourself. Overcoming adversity will give you confidence and self belief plus it will reduce a situations ability to impact on your state of being.
How I try to deal with adversity…
1. Accepting – Process the situation rather than ignoring it. If you’re distracting yourself from how your feel, ie burying yourself in work/drinking etc then you’re not processing your just suppressing…. Thoughts and emotions resurface further down the line. But don’t get stuck here otherwise you’re playing the victim. This also goes for adopting mindsets like ‘I just never have any luck’ or ‘Why does this always happen to me’. It’s probably because you believe that. What you think, you become. These are signs you’re playing the victim and feeling sorry for yourself. You can only stay here so long lapping up the attention until people just get sick of your moaning plus your just reinforcing your own negative beliefs and making it harder to break the cycle
2. Reflect – What could I have done better? How will I use this to better myself in the future? Learn from every experience. Don’t keep making the same mistakes, if you see the same patterns cropping up in your life then chances are it’s something YOU are doing/thinking. Not someone else. Before looking externally look internally. However again, don’t get stuck here…Turning reflection into ‘What ifs’ these are non-productive thoughts! You can’t change the past. Instead revert back to step one. Accept and then move forward to step 3.
3. Grow – If acceptance and reflection have been used effectively then you have created greater self-awareness. Guess what? That’s growth! You’re moving past adversity and not getting stuck in a deep dark hole where you give birth to new negative belief systems.
Make Self-Growth Your Number One Goal
You don’t actually have to wait till a life changing event turns up on your doorstep you can decide to progress every day and accelerate the process of self-growth. Learn to accept every situation, see everything as an opportunity to grow. Sometimes you can’t change what is happening but you can change how you react to it. That’s the key!
One things I can confidently do now is look back and thank my ex for leaving me, as it acted as a catalyst to open my eyes to my true self and build a purer way of living.
Can you say this about your own break ups?
How can you see the wisdom in a past relationship or trauma?
How has it been an important and valuable part of your journey..?
If you enjoyed this post give this one a go – ‘Are you an Addict’
If you want a step by step process sheet and loads more transformative practices for both body & mind then subscribe to the ‘SOULVISION’ human growth platform.